The Clox Box

because random rocks.

First of all, the dangers of high fives.


Second of all, Wednesday is the laziest of all weekdays for me. My one and only rest day from working out, I've proclaimed it wake & bake Wednesday. I mostly sit around gaming and reading but I'm looking forward to checking out what I've missed from everyone!

What kind of asshole plays Sim City?


I've been thinking about playing Minecraft, since the entire internet is, but mostly my close circle of friends. Three of them disappeared for a week and when next I heard from them, they'd constructed a fabulous base and roped my feller into the bargain. So I'm thinking about it. What scares me is that someone told the aspies about it.


Aww yeah, back on the bloghorse.

Not like, dirty porn, for the most part. I'm talking about George R. R. Martin's A Game of Thrones, the first doorstopper in a series of seven thick fucking tomes. I've just started reading this 800+ page thing. I've been ignoring it for a while since I'm trying to rock my way through Tolkien's Silmarillion and needed no distractions but man, JRR wasn't kidding when he said the Sil wasn't meant for people to read. That shit is bananas. Mind you, I've only done LOTR twice, so maybe I'll be more open once I give that trilogy another few rounds.

A Game of Thrones is great. It's long, and the subsequent books in the series are just as long, but it's good. It's interesting and intriguing and easy to read. The first 600 pages just flew by in a flurry of snow and incest and direwolves. Definitely a fantasy series for adults, what with all the blood and broken bones and hellacious treatment of the poor Stark kiddies.

And guess what? HBO is making the whole fucking thing - unfinished books and all - into a miniseries. As Dr. Steve Brule might implore you, check it out:

Ironically, George R. R. Martin wrote a science fiction diet book a few decades ago. He doesn't seem to be following it anymore and has even picked up a fat man hat. I can see why a lot of his readers are worried he's going to die before he finishes the series. Put down the cheesesteak, Georgey, and get to writing or maybe go for a walk instead. I know it's a tough life sitting on that million dollar ass.

I digress. HBO likely won't cut any of the icky parts, such as a royal family with a legacy of brother/sister inbreeding to keep a pure line. Strangely, most of these inbred decendents seem to be fertile and for the most part, clear of mind. No Preacher-style cyclops or enfeebled piss-on-everything kids. Weird. Maybe we get into that later.

Also, Sean Bean the Wife Beater as Ned Stark, fuck yeah! I'm not saying I'm in favour of domestic violence, but I'd let Sean Bean smack me around if he wanted. No divorce, no cops, just smack it.

Right, I can't wait to watch this series on HBO, and do not have high hopes for the author completing it but I've still got like, four more books to read. No complaints here. What novels have you been enjoying lately?

A roman candle
A fuckng missile
On my way to hell

Die for Dethklok. I thought 'd die before we got the rest of season 3! What the hell is up with Adult Swim? They love to jerk us around, don't they? Whatever, I'll take it. It's finally time for new Metalocalypse. Since we inhabit a vast snowy vacuum, it takes months for new Adult Swim shows to make it up to the Canadian television stations, by dogsled apparently. And due to copyright...stuff, I can't watch it on the Adult Swim website without, well, nevermind how that's accomplished, but it's annoying. This is likely a tangent I shouldn't finish.

Right, so new Metalocalypse was great. Listen to your dick, advice for the ages. I love all the Toki songs, and all the bunnies at his imaginary wedding, aww. I know all the ladies love Toki, I am no exception. And it's hard to deny how hot death metal is on its own. Is that weird? Maybe, but check out this action:

Ladies? Am I right?

Anyway. Have some Dethharmonic as I proclaim Monday to be Metalocalypse day at the Clox Box.

I'd rather you be dead than ponder parting with my second home
I'd rather you be dead than consider not opening a restaurant

I don't read a lot compared to some people, and most of them are fairly mainstream but here's some of my bookmarks. - We all know Penny Arcade, right? Well, there's a reason for that: it's fucking hilarious. I started reading it when the art way worse and I was just in high school. I think it's gotten way funnier in all that time, to say nothing of the cool shit they do for charities, and the big convention every year. They've come so far, it's great to see success like that happen to big fat nerds. - Okay, I have to admit I don't like QC that much anymore, but I can't bring myself to remove it from my bookmarks. It's kind of turned into a hipster soap opera lately, chock-full of insecure female characters that I find it difficult to relate to. Maybe I'm getting too old for that kind of shit, but I don't remember it always being so drama. The art is much improved from the early days, and the artist/writer Jeph Jacques sometimes draws the strips live on the internet to a soundtrack of whatever obscure shit he thinks makes him better than us this week. Oooh, hipters. - Holy shit,Hark! A Vagrant is my favourite webcomic OF ALL TIMES! It's about nerdy things like history and Tesla and Louis Riel, Shakespeare and Jane Austin. The art is simple, old timey cartoonist art that reminds me a lot of Seth at times. Low-key and super funny short strips, updated about once a week. I wish it updated more, but I'm thankful for all the K. Beaton we got. - Do you like titties and poison and mistresses and erotic fantasy tropes? Yeah, Oglaf is ridiculous and hilarious. The art is beautiful and sexy and there is somewhat of a plot, but mostly just awesomeness and cum-sprites. Yep. Cum-sprites. - The Meek is a serial webcomic with moar titties but mostly just a great, intriguing story. It's better than most of the serials I've read, with threads all through every strip and so many mysteries still unanswered. And the art, oh my god, the art is beautiful and cute and just so fresh! Nothing like it anywhere. - The Perry Bible Fellowship is a classic of randomness and punchlines and ridiculousness. No longer updated, but if you haven't read all of these strips, you must. YOU MUST. - Vattu reminds me a bit of The Meek; great serial storytelling and incredible art although a bit weird, so far. But that's fine, I like weird. It's about bi-pedal kind-of-humanoid-nomads, and a very special baby. I think? I'm not sure yet. But it's lovely.

So! What webcomics do you read?

I really like old movies. Any old movie, but lately silents from the 20s, and the first talkies in the 30s. I'm discovering so many awesome and weird movies and some really cool actors and actresses that most people have forgot about. And sexy movies, before the motion picture production code went into effect, boy howdy! Lots of old timey lesbian subtext.

Especially with Garbo; after she died, a bunch of her lesbian lovers came out and admitted to their affairs. Despite her love of ladies, Garbo nearly married frequent co-star John Gilbert, both seen here in Flesh & the Devil.

..which itself is a movie full of gay subtext, surprising for 1926.

Although she ditched him on their wedding day, they went on to make many more movies together. Bit fucked up, right? Poor Gilbert died an alcoholic, unable to find a role in the new horizon of talking motion pictures. Poor dude. He was a good actor.

Anyway, here's some sexy dancing from a Greta Garbo movie, Mata Hari.

Dixie Barton, old timey stripper.

Holy shit.

Dixie Barton started stripping and performing in peep show videos and with travelling sideshows, where a lot of strippers learned the ropes. A Greta Garbo movie has the actress working as a sideshow dancer. Pay some money, see her titties, that kind of work. Eventually, Dixie Barton settled in Newark, NJ and achieved fame as a Marilyn Monroe type. So obviously she gained some weight after this short. Probably still looked hot. She ended up running the Burlesque Hall of Fame in Vegas.

Kind of reminds me of Joan Harris on Mad Men. I love how much more we're getting to learn about Joan. I'm convinced she was a stripper or something before executive secretary or whatever. I hope we find out one day. In the meantime, I will say again, holy shit:

I love the Venture Bros. I don't watch a lot of TV anymore due to a landscape of utter crap, but every episode of Venture Bros makes me want to grab Doc Hammer by his long hair and shove that mousy face in my rack, screaming, "Do what you want to me, Doc Hammer! You deserve it!" So yeah, I like it.

It's a pop culture orgy smash and grab with fanboys and girls and without coming off as stupid and painful, like other shows about fans. It's also a show about failure, which we can all relate to.

Doc Hammer, Jackson Publik and others involved with the show do a stellar panel (I think) every year at the New York ComicCon full of cosplayers good and bad (and some requiring eye-bleach). Last year, there was much discussion of favourite David Bowie songs and a really flabby Dr. Mrs. The Monarch who wanted to rape the voice of Dean Venture. Scary. And Doc Hammer admitted his love of shoe buying. He also plays the banjo. Unf.

Random youtubery.

80s o rama.

24 Comments Posted by Tommi Clox at 1:58 AM

That's what my box is about.

Check out Yazoo for ultimate 80s hair and synth pop and talented fat chick.

Weird, they don't let fat chicks sing on tv anymore. I wonder what else we're missing?

The first time I heard La Roux, I was reminded of Yazoo. Compare!

Go androgyny go!

The new Scissor Sisters beats the fuck out of your Lady Gaga and Katy Perry pop, not to mention rehashing that delicious Breakfast Club beat from the 80s. We can dance again, we can dance! The children can dance!


Love cats!

3 Comments Posted by Tommi Clox at 5:34 PM

    Nice new layout?